All of us are driven by the same basic human needs in some form or other, and working out what your own needs are first is a great place to start if you want a truly fulfilling and meaningful relationship.
There are six levels of basic needs in life, and each level supports the next one like the layers in a pyramid. If one need is not being met, it is very difficult to have a truly fulfilling relationship.
There are four primary needs (certainty, variety, significance, and love) and two spiritual needs (growth and contribution), but the key element in a happy and successful relationship is in getting our needs met in the way we value them the most.
The problem, or the challenge, in a relationship is that we all differ in the order of priority we put these needs in and in how we value each of them in our lives.
So if you value security and certainty first in your list of needs, you can see how you'd find it challenging to be in a relationship with a person who loves uncertainty or lots of variety in their life.
The secret is to understand where you truly are, where you feel most comfortable, and then to think about how that influences your life and relationship so you can learn how to expand the choices that are available to you.
If you don't fulfill your needs, then you feel off kilter, out of balance, and unhappy.
When you know what you genuinely need, you can work out how to go about getting your needs met yourself and by also talking them through with your partner so you can fulfill their needs as well.
The secret is know what your needs are and in what order of importance, and then to take a little time to explain what they are to your partner -- and watch your relationship flourish.
Grab a pen and paper to jot down your thoughts as you ponder over the next week or so.
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